Happy birthday Thing One!

Five years ago today Thing One was due. He didn’t arrive for another ELEVEN days (man, those days went slooooowly) but this means one thing – my first born’s fifth birthday is almost upon us.

Now, a fifth birthday is a big deal. It’s the first ‘school’ birthday and for Thing One it’s his first proper party.

The party is fast becoming the social event of the year. Twenty-nine invitations have been written and sent out, we have booked a church hall (our house is pretty big, but we don’t have enough room for 30 boisterous five year olds, assorted parents and one very lively two year old) and I am drowning in to-do lists.

It’s been an eye-opener I can tell you. There’s a whole (extremely lucrative) industry devoted to kids’ parties (well hello Mr and Mrs Middleton) – invitations, cups, plates, piñatas, you name it.

I tracked down a party entertainer who was going to charge me £240 for two hours. A lawyer friend of mine was aghast.

‘I’ve been qualified for ten years,’ she wailed. ‘I can’t charge £120 an hour.’

So I’m doing the games, my husband is doing the food, we’ve got a bouncy castle and we’ve roped in a few people to help us.

As the big day approaches, I’m beginning to regret this approach slightly. I can see why parents cough up £12 a head to a soft play place and get them to do the whole thing. But I can also see where this children’s party industry has come from. I want the party to be perfect. Not for the guests or to impress the other mums (I suspect it’s a bit late to start worrying about impressing them!) but just to make sure Thing One enjoys himself.

He’s so excited and every day asks if I’ve had more replies to his invitations (which by the way, I haven’t. How hard is it to send a text message?). The news that two girls from his class can’t come threw him into despair. He’s thrilled with Daddy’s ideas for naming food after superheroes and chuckles to himself about ‘Green Goblin grapes’.

So I can kind of see that parents will spend and spend to make their child’s party perfect. Luckily though, I am a sensible lady and from good Scottish, thrifty stock. So I can also see that what Thing One will love is being the centre of attention for a day, playing games with his friends, eating a Batman-shaped sandwich and maybe even having a dance to Lady Gaga. In short, what he will love is being loved. And that costs nothing.