Thoughts on breastfeeding - beware I am very passionate about this!

Thing Two is now six months old. He's a happy, contented gorgeous little boy and I'm very proud of him. I'm also proud that I've managed to breastfeed him all this time.

When Thing One was born, I was determined to breastfeed. I'd been to my NCT breastfeeding class and read all the right stuff. What no one had told me, however, was how bloody difficult it was. He was a c-section baby and his nose was very blocked with mucus. So when he latched on, he couldn't breathe, he panicked and pushed me away. In hospital I begged for help, but the midwives were busy (and mean) and ignored me. They thought I was worried my boob was blocking his nose, but that wasn't what I meant. At home, he still wasn't feeding. I rang the midwives for help; no one came. Eventually one midwife told me I could get saline drops to clear his nose, but I'd have to get them prescribed by a doctor and as it was bank holiday weekend, I'd have to wait another few days. By the time I discovered we could buy the drops from Boots for less than £2, it was too late. Thing One was badly dehydrated, my milk had dried up and he was admitted to hospital where he was fed through a tube down his nose.

It was horrible.

Knowing what I know now, I think if he'd had some formula in hospital, he'd have been stronger and able to suck better from the breast. The midwives offered me formula but didn't explain he'd have had it from a sippy cup (in fact, I didn't find this out until eight months later!) and I thought he wouldn't be able to suck from a bottle either.

Anyway, when I was pregnant with Thing Two, I wanted to try breastfeeding again, but I was more realistic this time. I armed myself with bottles and a couple of cartons of formula, just in case.

But six months on, I've not opened the formula. I can't say it's been a breeze - the first few weeks of agonising cracked nipples and non-stop feeding weren't much fun. It's been hard being the only one who can feed him and there have been a couple of times when I've wanted to go out alone for more than three hours. But compared with endless sterilising and making up feeds, and cramming the changing bag with little pots of formula and bottles of boiled water, it's been easy.

I also love the fact that breastfeeding forces me to sit down for a cuddle regularly. My favourite time of the day is the bedtime feed when a sleepy Thing Two and I snuggle up on our bed for a feed without the distractions of Thing One!

But, despite all this, I HATE HATE HATE the pro-breastfeeding lobby. The self-styled 'lactivists' (even the word makes me want to puke). I know how hard breastfeeding can be and I'd never judge anyone for giving up (though I do think everyone should try if they can -it's so much easier!). I hate all the misinformation ("it doesn't hurt if you're doing it properly" - er, yeah it does. At first) and scaremongering ("if you give your baby any formula you'll ruin your milk supply" - rubbish, sometimes babies just need a bit of a boost). And I hate the fact that it's so dependent on the help you get. My midwives this time round (at the PRU hospital in Farnborough) were absolutely brilliant. I'm sure I've lasted this long because of the help they gave me in those first days.

And now I have to stop, as I left the room for a minute, to put Thing Two down for his nap, and Thing One used the time I was away to pull all the keys off my laptop. So typing proving tricky, and I must go.